I have to say, this is one of the hardest blog entries I have ever written. I got the letter this morning. I knew right away when I looked at the return address, which was from my lawyer, that it was my final divorce Decree. My first thought was thank God, it’s finally here. As I opened up the letter and started to read the contents, I could feel a deep Sadness in the pit of my stomach. The feeling quickly turned to anger. Thoughts started running through my head on how I could pity myself. Luckily, I quickly realized that my thoughts and feelings were leading me down the wrong path.
I have to admit when my ex wife told me she was going to leave... Ex wife, that will be hard to get used to saying. Anyway, when she told me that she was going to leave, my emotions ran wild. Everything that I’ve learned went straight out the door. One thing is for sure, I am very glad that I put myself on this path to self improvement. If this would have happened to me several years ago I would’ve spiraled down to the lowest point. My character was just that bad. In fact, I had a hard time dealing with any type of negative events that came into my life. I had the choice to do that with this divorce. I chose not to. Believe it or not, it is that simple. I do not blame her for making the decision to leave. I don’t blame myself for not being a better husband. We both are at fault for how this marriage ended up. The choice that I made was to learn from my failure. If you believe in god, you have to understand that your path has already been paved. Your destination has already been chosen. We do have free will to change that path and change that destination. That would be a mistake. We may not always understand what happens to us in this life, but we have to understand that there is something better ahead. I guess this blog entry is all about character. Most people that listen to this story cannot believe how I can take this in stride. I will be the first one to tell you that I have my days. I learn from those days and I move forward. I always have to look at common sense. Common sense tells me that I could either be angry about this situation, or I could accept the cards that have been dealt to me. Being angry is not fun. However, being happy is fun. I choose happy.
I am constantly being asked how I can be so positive threw this event. There is no magic to this. I just choose to be positive. I am sure some of you are saying that you are not that kind of person. You will continue to blame circumstance for what has happened in your life. That is a mistake. The highest level of maturity comes to you when you accept responsibility for everything that happens in your life. I don’t blame my ex-wife for the person that she is. I blame myself for the person that I am. I have learned so much from this marriage. It has made me an incredible strong person. For that I am thankful. I do not look at the negative that surrounded the relationship. That would do me no good. I do embrace all the positive values that I have received. Most of us live our life’s blaming circumstance for what we do and how we act. It is our choice to be happy one day and sad the next. If we do not take control of our lives, we are nothing but pawns in a game of chess.
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