Throughout the years I have failed multiple times in my life. I went to college and for one reason or another failed to graduate. I joined the military and because of my poor attitude, I was out in two years. I was let go and fired from multiple jobs because I could not be a team player. I started several businesses and projects that just plain failed miserably. I failed in my marriage, which ended in divorce. I failed to be a good father and for 40 years failed to be a good person.

By most people’s standards, I would say I have every right to throw in the towel and give up. Most of my life has been spent playing the blame game. In my jobs, I blamed my co-workers for all my botched and uncompleted jobs. I blamed my ex-wife for all the love, caring and understanding that I lacked in our relationship. I blamed the government and society for all the things I did not have.

Let me put this plain and simple for you. The bottom line was that I was an ass! It was all about me. My life was driven by how I could enrich my own personal well being. I did not give a dam about anyone around me. I saw my family and friends as a burden, especially my own kids.

Notice that I have been using the word “WAS” a lot. You hear the saying, “People don’t change” How could someone with such a bleak outlook in life change? We often tell ourselves, “I am who I am”.  Which really means, screw you, I will do what I want to do! So how did I do it? Well, a friend of mine made a comment to me several years ago. He asked me who my best friend was. Unfortunately, I could not answer him. I sat and thought about that for quite a while. I finally asked myself a question that would change my life forever. The questions was “Would I be my own friend?” My immediate answer was yes. As I thought about it more, my answer turned to NO. After all, the person I saw in the mirror was a complete jerk. Who would want a jerk like that as a friend?

So what does the lack of friends have to do with failing in life? For me, it had everything to do with failing. That day I made it a goal to stop failing in life. I started reading books on failure. I listen to tapes on failure. What I found was this, learning how to stop failure was one of my major flaws. The key is not to stop failure. The key is to learn from you failures. You have to learn how to welcome failure. It takes failure to actually succeed. To do this, you have to change your attitude. As Zig Ziglar call’s it, “Stinkin thinkin” Making this change was not easy for me. I spent a lot of years being an ass, but now I am aware of it. I now have tools overcome it.

Did you know that less than 3 percent of the people in the US have a library card? Why is that? They are free. Doesn’t get any easier than free. My suggestion is, don’t follow what everyone else is doing. Learn how to live life. Don’t be in that 97% that lets life happen to them. Be different. Start reading some books. Also, pay attention to who your friends are. Nine times out of ten their influences have and will have a major effect in your life. If you are broke, chances are your friends are also broke. If you are a jerk… Well I think you get the picture. Be a student of life. It is true, It is the simple things in life that make it worth living.