Welcome to my Self Help Blog. I have been on a Self Improvement path for several years. I started on this path as a money hungry, self absorbed ass. I got to the point where I did not like my self. I asked myself the question. “Would I be my friend?” The answer was NO. I have learned that my journey will never end. I will constantly be on my path, learning threw Self Help Audio and Self Improvement Books. Enjoy your walk.

My wife married an ass

by david 14. August 2008 13:23

That ass was me. I would like to talk about marriage today. I have been speaking with a woman that had some things happen to her as a child. There was possible molestation. She is married with a small child. Here is the problem. She has married someone that does not support her. Their marriage is on the rocks. They argue all the time. He blames her for the problems they have.

Here is the kicker. She wants him to go to counseling, but he will not go because he says that "WE" do not need counseling. "YOU" need counseling. Unfortunately Jen and I went through the same situation. She married an ass. That ass was me. I consistently reminded her how screwed up she was. I knew exactly what emotional punches to throw. She normally conceded with me because I was so convincing and she was told all her life that she was worthless and it was her fault for everything.

Imagine growing up as a child and being told that you are to blame for ALL the problems that your parents have. Jen was conceived out of marriage. Back then, you had to get married. No question about it. What made this worse was her dad was beat as a child. Her dad turned to drinking and did what he new best to deal with all his pain. He beat Jen and her mom.

I, however, grew up with a silver spoon. My parents were the ultimate parents. I had a mother that was loving and nurturing and my father was supportive and loved us. How could I be at fault for any problems Jen and I were having? She wanted to go to counseling, but I saw no need for me to go with her. So she went. Then one day she drops the bomb on me. She left with our son the next day.

Well. It was party time for me. Out I went with my single friends. Doing all the things I could not do being chained up in marriage. The problem came when I would get my son for a weekend and would have to let him go. He would stretch his little arm out to me crying and begging not to leave him. The opposite was true when he would leave Jen. It tore threw me like a knife. I realized I had to do something. I knew my son needed me. The only way this could happen was to get back with Jen.

I really did not want to, but I did it for my son. I would like to say it was easy for us after we got back together, but it wasn't. It seemed worse. We went threw a couple of counselors. Finally, it his me, I asked myself the question. "Would I be my friend?" The answer was a quick NO!!!  My wife deserved a real man, not the worthless piece of crap she had. So I set out to be that man. I started reading books from Tony Robbins. It was like the flood gates opened. I wanted to know more and more. I know I have a long way to go, but I now consider myself a true man and I now know that I am the luckiest man on earth.

Ladies, do not settle for anything less. Men, that goes the same for you. Do not feel like you have no where to go. Do what it takes. Talk to friends. If you go to church, talk to your pastor. If you don't go to church, find a good non-denominational church and give the pastor a call. You need to get around people that will support you. Notice I said support, not pity. You do not need pity. You are scared because you do not have the information. Go get it. Information is power and erases doubt in your mind. You are a strong person. You will see.

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Comments

7/21/2009 12:04:36 AM

What a very powerful and inspiring post! You actually made a right decision. At Jen situation, it’s really hard knowing she grows up to be that way. She needs lots of advice and comfort from someone who really cares for her and that is you. Nice post! It was so beautiful and really interesting.

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