Sticks and stones may break our bones, but words will never hurt us.  How many times have we said this is as a child?  You and I both know that this is not true.  In fact, words cut us like a knife.  The truth is, as a parent, and as a spouse, hurtful words spew out of our mouth every day.  If we could tape what we say and listened to it in the evening we would be astonished with what we hear. 

Several years ago I had a friend that would call his child a sissy almost every time I was there.  The child is now 10 and I would have to say is one of the most timid children I have ever met.  I did the same with my youngest child.  When he would get scared at night, I would call him a chicken.  I did this repeatedly.  Although better now, he was scared of his own shadow.  For the past couple years I have been trying to reverse the damage of my words.  Have you ever heard the saying, it is easier to believe the bad stuff?  Just ask my wife.  As a young couple I used my words to cut her down over and over.  To this day, she does not have a hard time remembering hurtful things I have said.

I read an article several weeks ago.  It was about a minister that went to a prison.  He asked the inmates, “How many of you were told as children that you would end up in jail?” To his amazement, almost everyone raised their hand.  Tell a child that he is stupid enough times and he will believe you.  Tell your spouse that they are worthless enough times and they will believe you.  I remember as a child playing football.  My parents would constantly tell me how good and fast I was.  Every year I played, I received tailback the of the year trophy.

When my oldest child started school, I would tell him over and over how intelligent he was.  I went as far as telling him he was the genius.  To date, when he brings his report card home, it is very rare two see a B.  The same is true of my daughter.  I also tell her how kind and helpful she is.  She’s the most loving child you will ever meet.

Speaking positive all the time to your children is easier said than done.  Especially when they do bad things and the words start flying from your mouth.  It was very hard for me to do this when I first started so my wife and I made a pact to tell each other when we would doing this.  Most of that time, you don’t even know you’re doing it.

I now find opportunity’s to give my children praises as much as I can.  I also make sure my children, wife, and family know how much I love them, by telling them I love them and giving them hugs as much as I can.  Make sure this comes from the heart.  Saying a quick I love you does not seem to cut it.  They will know if it comes from the heart.

The words we say become the people that we are.  Try to find ways to give people complements all day.  Avoid speaking negative to anyone.  If you do, apologize quickly.  My friends will tell you I used to be the most negative person they have ever met.  Every word that came out of my mouth was negative.  Turning this around was very hard for me.  I did not believe what I was saying at first.  But after awhile, it began to stick.  It was funny to hear people say to me, “How can you always be so positive?” the only answer that I could come up with was, “It makes me feel good”